About This Entry

This page contains a single entry posted on 7 June 2007 08:36 AM.

The PREVIOUS post in this blog is titled > Two's Not So Terrible.

The NEXT post in this blog is titled > Six Apart Releases Version 4.0 (beta) of its Movable Type Blogging Software.

MORE entries can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.


Technorati search

» Blogs that link here

July 2011

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
          1 2
3 4 5 6 7 8 9
10 11 12 13 14 15 16
17 18 19 20 21 22 23
24 25 26 27 28 29 30


Rad Linkage

Powered by
Movable Type 3.35
This weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Creative Commons License

« Two's Not So Terrible | Main | Six Apart Releases Version 4.0 (beta) of its Movable Type Blogging Software »

When Feeling Bad = Looking Good | AKA The Black-belt Syndrome

Been dealing with an assortment of life-challenges recently. Consequently, I've been feeling blue and generally crappy (both physically & emotionally).

So you can imagine my surprise to hear so many people commenting this past week (some guys, but mostly girls) how "good" I look.

"Say what? You're joking, right?" I feel like hammered dog-krap, and naturally suppose I look the same (like krap). Tho apparently not.

Even had some hotties come on to me. Heck, just yesterday, I was mentioning to a casual acquaintance how one of the things I've been dealing with recently "suks big-time". (Can't remember my exact words, but I can't forget hers.)

She surprised me by stating (with a straight face), "By the way, I have a black-belt in that."

••••• today's entry continues below •••••

Follow-up clarification confirmed she meant exactly what I thought she meant. How do you respond to something like that? I'm not used to that type of talk. (Tho I could probably learn to, fairly quick.)

If you think about it, black-belt is a masculine term. You don't hear many women tossing it around. Which makes me think she originally heard it from a guy, thus lending credibility to her claim.

Calvin Klein models" If feeling *this* crappy causes ladies to respond like that,
" I reasoned, "then I oughta invite over a couple of friends to visit and have them work me over with baseball bats. After 20 minutes of that, I could probably be a Calvin Klein model." =)

The problem is > it has been my dealings with women that put me in this predicament in the first place. So you can see why I might be reluctant to acknowledge even the most enticing offer.

If you whack a dog every time it comes to the trough, it will eventually stop coming, even tho it's hungry, and enjoys food.

There have been other, similar comments, tho probably too risqué to publish. Another girl mentioned that I look like I'd lost weight.

When life throws us a curve, some people respond by eating. I'm just the opposite. My appetite vanishes. When I finally do get hungry, two bites fill me up (stomach in knots). Consequently, I tend to drop weight during periods of stress.

I also exercise more (in an attempt to process those feelings of angst). My bike rides around the Back Bay have worked wonders in this area > therapy in motion. Gorgeous surroundings. Fresh air. Sunshine.

I most enjoy watching egrets in flight. Takes me away from my problems for a few poetic minutes. Almost makes me wanna cry.

I also tend to drink a lot of protein when stressed, cuz it's one of the few things I can easily stomach. So that tends to cut me up a little.

When my world feels like it's falling apart, I find comfort (oddly enough) in watching Frontline specials, such as Gangs of Iraq and The Mormoms .. tho I can't tell you why. Maybe cuz Frontline presents its shows in such an orderly and organized fashion, whereas my life sometimes seems affected by turbulent, illogical forces.

In other news, today is the First Thursday Art Walk in Laguna Beach. Maybe we'll see you out on the town, sucking up some culture, along with the free vino & hors d'oeuvres.


TrackBack URL for this entry:

Comments (3)


Test. Anti-spam feature.


Hey Rad:

I've been reading your blog for years, attracted to it originally by your excellent directions concerning Ghost and other computer esoterica about which I am a total newbie. Now I come in regularly to check in with you.

I empathize with your problems concerning your little boy and his mother. I was confronted with a similar situation a few years back with my daughter. I was astounded by my emotional reaction to the birth of my only child. It was a type of instant permanent imprinting. I had never, ever loved anybody or anything as I did my daughter.

Unfortunately her mother was/is basically nuts. I stayed married to her out of concern for the safety of my daughter, and also realizing that it was doubtful in the current judicial climate that I could retain custody. I thought that perhaps I could act as a moderating influence between my daughter and her mother.

I sometimes still agonize as to the wisdom of my decision to stay instead of leaving.

I mention this only to say that despite all the black periods and all the terrible, wrenching disappointments that you may experience in maintaining a close loving relationship with you son, I know that you are doing the right thing. Keep on loving him and nuturing him as you are so ably doing. He sounds like a perfectly wonderful little fella, and I wish you all the best. Hang in there!


Thanks for sharing. Comments like yours help maintain my sanity, which lately seems in short supply.

I perused your site. Cannon Beach. One of my favorite places on the planet. Had what you might call a religious experience there many moons ago. Hard to forget "needle & a haystack" monoliths.

As you might've gathered, I tend to be analytical, especially when I'm trying to figured out something. And I'm most intrigued by the drive instilled in us by the parental instinct.

I can't fully comprehend it, but I can tell it's "wired" very deep into our human, social make-up .. bypassing & over-riding nearly all other instincts.

Many of the things I do, are done *automatically*. My sense of personal risk, etc, has little or no bearing on decisions & actions I make/take regarding the bug.

It's as if some unseen force directs our actions. And, as you know, all our actions are based on (doing) what is best for the child .. regardless of any personal sacrifice that might be involved.

If I have to go without sleep for days, and spend every last nickel, and not eat for a week, .. so be it. Those things are secondary to parental instincts. Very weird mechanism nature has put in place. I find it rather fascinating.

Tho, apparently, not everyone has these same instincts. Many men (I won't call them "dads") apparently walk away from their children with little trouble. This I cannot understand (nor do I wish to).

Anyway, thanks again for sharing.

Post a comment