Ye Olde Rad Blog II

Before becoming a dad, I had a job where one of my bosses spoke often & enthusiastically about his kids (teenagers at the time). Despite my best efforts (to suck-up to the boss), I had difficulty relating to his stories.

I remember thinking, "If I ever have kids, I need to realize that people who don't .. might have trouble relating."

Of course, when it's your boss, you try extra hard (to relate) .. laughing when he laughs, even when you fail to see any humor.

I even remember feeling it rude of him to expect me to care about his stories (when I had no kids of my own). Like I said, it wasn't like I didn't try.

At times I even felt inadequate, cuz I hadn't bred (yet).

Since becoming a dad, I can see that good parents *should* be tuned to their kids. Obviously, there's a ditch on both sides of this road.

A parent can be so absorbed they have no life outside their kids. Or they can be oblivious, not realizing when their kids are hurting. (I think this is called empathy, a natural part of parenting.) Balance is the key.

These days I tailor my conversation to the person sitting across from me. If they're a parent, I'm free to discuss whatever parental topics arise (cuz I know they can relate). If not, I find other subjects (unless they lead).

Even with the Dog, my best friend of many years (who has outstanding social skills), I've found a certain —distance— has developed. The Dog is excellent at relating to my challenges with the bug's mom, but struggles (I sense) at relating to my experiences as a dad.

While sitting at the coffee shop this morning, where I was chatting with my rock-climbing buddy (Tom), who had just suggested we take the kids to Joshua Tree next weekend, for some camping (under the stars)...

.. when in walks Jarrod (a regular there, who teaches Criminal Justice at one of the local universities).

On our table he tossed a copy of today's Los Angeles Times, and points to an article titled (big letters) » War protest in O.C. ends in 6 arrests. (Front page of the California section - Part B. Yeah, he was one of the 6.)

They entered the offices of Representative Loretta Sanchez (in nearby Garden Grove), and said they weren't leaving until she promised not to fund the war.

I don't understand it myself. Perhaps I'm in denial. Or maybe I sense (intuitively) some good news about to arrive from the cosmos. (Wishful thinking?)

The neck is still sore/stiff, but it's the least of my worries right now. And besides, there's nothing I can do to make it heal any faster, other than rest. (Tomorrow will be two weeks since I went sailing over then handlebars and landed on my head.)

My overriding concern is the threat of the Bug being taken away. (Far away.) As previously mentioned, I'm doing everything I can to prevent that from happening. (For example, I spent yesterday afternoon at the courthouse.) But the decision is out of my hands. And I can no longer afford an attorney.

Speaking of the Bug, he slept over earlier this week. I had the *coolest* dream that night .. about us going to the beach - a magical beach, on a picture-perfect day, late in the afternoon.

The water was crystal clear and warm, the white sand powdery soft. The nicest people camped nearby - families, with fancy cameras, who shot video of the Bug & I playing together...

.. as tall masted ships sailed in agitated seas just offshore. We swam however, in tranquil waters, with dolphins and brightly-colored fish within a protective reef. Our beach-neighbors even offered me an extra coffee they'd brought along from Starbucks. Talk about an idyllic setting.

The dream left me in such an enchanted state that I felt wrapped in a glow of paternal contentment for days afterward.

Thanksgiving 2007

After tearing up the local playground, the day's highlight came when we took his "froggie boots" to the Newport Back Bay. There we found a feeder-stream he could tromp thru (something new).

The froggie boots kept his feet warm-n-dry. He seemed to enjoy dropping sticks in the water and watching them float downstream, and chasing after ducks.

After his mom picked him up (later in the day), I headed over to Tom's place, where his wife made turkey-stuffed acorn squash .. stuffed with nuts, peppers, cheese, and other nutritious treats. (Yummy.)

Tom & his wife are healthy eaters, so I knew it was gonna be good. They recently joined an organic co-op. Every other week, they get a bushel-basket full of organic veggies (such as the acorn squash we ate).

I think he said it costs $35 for ~35 pounds (of assorted veggies). The only bad part is you have to pay for 6 months up front. (And no, they don't deliver.)

Tom had spent the day tearing out his old carpet and sanding the underlying (concrete) floor. So his place had a distinct post-nuclear feel to it, with a slight echo. (Okay, it was more than slight.)

1. the books you read, and
2. the people you meet."

I joked by adding, "And the lotteries you win."

Joking aside, I never forgot that saying, tho I doubt Matto was the originator. He claimed the reason books were included was because » you can meet people thru books. [Matto was an extrovert (Sales), so I could understand his attraction to the phrase.]

Taking his concept a step further, I feel the *real* reason behind this principle is cuz » both people and books carry ideas. Ideas are really the things that change people.

Another saying I once heard goes something like » a mind stretched by a new idea can/will never fully return to its original size. This is why I've always enjoyed meeting people from other cultures » they often carry new (stimulating, interesting) ideas.

Free Books

Along these lines, I stumbled upon a new site yesterday called » Wowio, which offers free books (for download, PDF format). I was skeptical at first, but it actually seems legit.

You have to register (via valid email addy), and you can only download 3 books/day (enough for even the most voracious reader). In the spirit of Matto's maxim, I downloaded the following 3 titles:

1. Einstein in His Own Words
2. Engines of Creation 2.0. (See the Wikipedia entry for more.)
3. The Art of War (Sun Tzu)

2008 Happy New Year. Mine was low-key. (No hangover today.) Spent the evening at Tom's. His wife whipped up a yummy batch of organic veggies (with dijon mustard & lemon) for dinner. Healthy stuff.

I like hanging out there cuz both he & his wife are very understanding (of my limitations). I was feeling blue last night (still am, actually), and that did not bother them. They've both been down this road, so they understand the challenges associated with my situation.

My engineering background has programmed me to try and understand problems (in order to engineer an effective solution). But I really don't understand *why* I'm feeling so blue.

I mean, I miss the bug, but that doesn't explain how far down in the dumps I feel. I was able to spend 3 solid days with him last week (after he returned from visiting relatives back-East).

I was excited driving over (Friday morn) to pick him up. Could actually feel myself getting happy. Then, after he left » bummer city. Haven't been able to shake it.

Didn't want to be a drag on my friend's New Years eve, but they assured me they understood.