Normally I couldn't care less about Britney's latest escapade (having enough problems of my own).
But today's article caught my attention, cuz she lost her kids. One line in particular jumped out (4th paragraph):
» The joke's over. At least for now. Because there are few things worse than losing one's kids.
This is an issue (sad to say) I've been preparing for. Naturally, I'm hoping for the best. But the decision is out of my hands. So I need to prepare for the possibility things don't go my way. (Sukus maximus.)
The reason the author puts losing-one's-kids near the top of Life's Worst Things, I believe (and again, this is something I've been staring at for weeks now), is because » parenting taps into some of our most basic instincts.
These instincts are hard-wired, deep in our subconscious. They tend to override normal conscious thought, and energize us with powerful emotions. This is why we do things for our kids we'd normally never think of doing.
So how do I cope? Defense mechanisms, I'm sure, play a major role. They protect us from thoughts and feelings too distressing to deal with.
••• today's entry continues below •••
Distraction is another tool. Tom speculates this is why I enjoy rock-climbing and mountain-biking so much. These activities cause us to focus so completely .. that everything else (including our troubles) fade from consciousness .. for a while, anyway .. providing an emotional respite within physical exertion.
At the opposite end of the spectrum, one friend suggested reading the Psalms. I've read them before, but they never did very much for me. Now however, they seem to come alive. I can definitely relate to their author. (Misery loveth company.)
Another oddity » I no longer have any desire to drink coffee. I tried to quit for the longest time, but couldn't. Now however, I don't even want any. Weird. If you knew how much I used to love a triple-espresso buzz (how addicted I was), you'd know what a change this represents. Haven't had any coffee in .. uh, I forget how many days it has been.
Right now, I'm sipping a cup of Tea for Tension. (Tastes like krap, but lowers the stress + helps me sleep.) Speaking of krapy tasting stuff .. yesterday I brushed my teeth (accidentally) with Desitin (diaper rash ointment). It's not as bad as you might think. Been kinda spacey lately. (Tubes are the same size.)
Tough times (the saying goes) teach us more about ourselves .. than does an idyllic life. Heck, anybody can float down the river of life on flowery beds of ease. That presents no challenge.
We can speculate what we might do in a certain situation, and even feel confident about our predictions (which are fun to make). But in reality, we'll never know for sure .. until faced with that situation (and everything that comes with it).
By no means have I plumbed the depths of this issue, but one thing is certain » the prospect of losing your children is brutally stressful. Your instincts compel you to do whatever it takes to stay in your children's life. And when this decision is taken away...
.. well, the effect is so hellish I would not wish it on my worst enemy.
On the bright side .. I'm learning a lot about myself .. and life, and people, and grateful for the time we've had together. When your time together may be cut short, every smile, every laugh .. is that much more precious.
Comments (3)
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Posted by Rad | October 6, 2007 9:19 AM
Posted on October 6, 2007 09:19
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Elaina
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Posted by Elaina | February 17, 2009 4:14 AM
Posted on February 17, 2009 04:14
I like your blog a lot!
You sound like a dedicated father.
Posted by Hailey | August 19, 2014 2:17 PM
Posted on August 19, 2014 14:17