Played Rad-dad the last few days. This was the first time I changed *no* poopy diapers. Woohoo! All poopies went in the toilet. (A beautiful thing.) Let the celebration begin.
He seems to enjoy this new activity. "Dada, come look," I hear him call from the bathroom. Eyes gleaming with pride. High-fives ensue.
Quickly tho, he dismisses me with a wave, saying » "Dada, go away." (Plea for privacy.) Sometimes he even slides shut the door behind me.
And I have another 'first' to report » he took a shower with me today. No, not a major milestone, but worth mentioning. The shower-head here is detachable, allowing me to better control the nozzle's spray.
The bug slept over last night. Good snuggler, he is. (Good sleeper, too.)
After telling him a story ('til he fell asleep) I lay awake, listening to the sound of his breath. The bottoms of his little feet rested on my legs (just above my knees). His head lay (peaceful) on my arm. My other arm drew him tight. Pretty dang close to heaven on earth.
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Since I have him only part of the time, it leaves me with plenty of time to ponder the father/son relationship, and the meaning of fatherhood in general. I've come to the conclusion that the main thing I want is » simply for him to know I love him (unconditionally).
I know that sounds trite, or maybe even corny, but it's really the distillation of much soul-searching. And with that accomplishment .. I'll be able to rest easy on my deathbed.
Now, exactly *how* that happens .. is (of course) more complicated. My main technique (since we're on the topic) has been to get down on his level, look him in the eye, and listen to him. In other words, I make it a point to pay attention. (Not as easy as it might sound.)
Surprisingly, many moms (at the playgrounds I frequent) ignore their kids. The kids are asking to be pushed (on the swing), for example, while the moms (oblivious) are busy chatting with other moms.
Today for example, two moms were talking (gossiping) about another mom (obviously not there). "I don't know why she thinks we're good friends," one says. "I never really liked her."
"Did she really say that?" the other asks a little later. "How rude!" All the while, the little girl keeps asking to be pushed. Sure I wanted to say something. (But I didn't.) Had to bite my tongue. (I can be blunt .. it's an East Coast thing.)
If there *is* a good consequence to this part-time dad deal .. it's that I definitely don't take for granted my time with the bug. Goes way too fast. I appreciate our time together.
Who knows? If I could see the bug whenever I want .. I too might take him for granted .. or pay less attention. I'd prefer (of course) to think not .. but who knows for sure?
The Bug's new favorite activity is to clean my windshield (Rad-mobile) with a squee-gee at the gas station. I set him my hood and watch him as he gets busy. Not sure why he digs this so much. One lady today said, "That's the cutest thing I've ever seen at a gas station," and asked if she could snap a a picture.
So every day we stop several stations. (My tank is perpetually full.) There he spends at least five minutes (usually much more) cleaning my windshield. Fortunately the Porsche is old enough that I don't care about him walking on it.
Following our last weekend together, I realized » I miss him more after spending more time with him. You'd think the opposite would be true. In reality however, it's harder to give him back after a long (3-day) weekend. Cuz you get closer.
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